PupTown Barker
1-7-24
A large motor yacht was stranded in the high surf off Mobjoy Pt. amidst rising winds and abnormally high tides. Details are sketchy at press time, but rumors claim the yacht suffered unspecified mechanical problems and was unable to gain safe harbor at Mobjoy quay. No word on weather the anchor was deployed before she found herself in the surf. The bystanders witnessing the event claim several people were seen boarding an inflatable dinghy to get to the beach but there was no information on the number of passengers on the yacht or if any remain on board.
Coconut Caper
over 100 coconut tree (Nucifera) seedlings were reported missing in the settlement of Rocky Landing on Wednesday. These seedlings were destined to be planted as part of an expansion of the coconut plantation there. Rocky Landing is remote, with only one road leading to it. However, the settlement is approachable by boat in calm weather. Authorities are asking anyone to report sightings of wayward coconut seedlings promptly.
Karen Sighting
A wild Karen (mainlander slang for an unpleasant woman) was reported to have caused a stir in a restaurant at PupTown Harbor when she declared the waitress was attempting to poison her by neglecting to mention the dish she had ordered contained peanuts. “Karen” who’s allergies to peanuts did not keep her from hurling a pitcher of ice tea at the hapless assistant manager of the Tilly Tuna restaurant, demanded to know why each dish on the menu did not have a note if it contains peanuts. The waitress was quoted as saying the woman didn’t mention her peanut allergy and never asked about the ingredients. Karen threatened to sue the waitress, the assistant manager, the owner of the premises, the officer who arrested her for battery, and the internet service which arranged her itinerary. At press time, Karen as hemp in tyd town jail where, we are assured, she will be served no peanuts.